When Everything Feels Urgent, Balance Is the Only Thing Keeping Us Sane
How to care without letting urgency run your nervous system.
We’re f’n tired. Not the satisfying tired that comes from a long hike or a good day’s work. The worn-down, stretched-thin kind. The kind that comes from waking up and flooding our nervous system before our feet even hit the floor.
Phone in hand. Headlines rolling in.
What did he do now?
Who got hurt?
What’s unraveling today?
A trip to the grocery store costs WHAT??
If you’re someone who checks the news or social media first thing in the morning, you know this feeling. Fear. Anger. Disgust. Frustration. All before coffee. All before you’ve even remembered who you are. Honestly, it’s a problem too.
Before we go any further, let’s slow this down and define what we mean by equanimity.
Equanimity, at its most basic, means inner steadiness. It’s the ability to stay balanced and grounded even when things are intense, emotional, or uncertain. It doesn’t mean being calm all the time. It doesn’t mean liking what’s happening. It means we’re not completely knocked off center by every wave that comes our way.
Think of it as emotional balance without shutting down.
Celestial Passenger recently shared a post about the economics of outrage. He wrote about how the internet, the media of all types, and social media are designed to reward whatever grabs attention the fastest. That’s how it’s working.
Not what’s thoughtful.
Not what’s nuanced.
What shocks.
What outrages.
What threatens.
What keeps us clicking, scrolling, and reacting.
Once you see that pattern, it’s hard to unsee, especially after decades as a marketer and being marketed to!
A lot of what we’re consuming is meant to provoke us. It’s there to stir outrage and keep us focused on what feels urgent and alarming. And while all of the things happening in the world genuinely matter, the nonstop flood of crisis language is exhausting our nervous systems.
This is where equanimity becomes less of a philosophy and more of a survival skill.
Equanimity does not mean we stop caring. It does not mean we agree with harm or injustice. It does not mean we give up our values or our voice.
You can still disagree. You can still protest. You can still advocate for change. Equanimity simply means you’re not sacrificing your nervous system or your sense of self in the process.
When others are “doing theirs,” especially in ways that feel upsetting or wrong from our point of view, equanimity gives us just enough space to pause. Not to agree. Not to excuse harm. But to wonder what’s underneath.
Most people want the same things we do. To feel safe. To feel respected. To feel heard. To feel secure and happy.
When we can come from that perspective, maybe conversation becomes possible instead of automatically dropping into reactivity. This is where equanimity and action meet.
When we’re less reactive, we stop trying to control everything we can’t change and start focusing on what we can influence. Our words. Our actions. Our care. Our boundaries. Our strength.
Equanimity also includes how we relate to ourselves. Noticing pressure. Noticing self-judgment. Offering permission to be human. Offering self-compassion and trust.
It’s not a permanent state. It comes and goes. We practice returning, again and again. It’s a practice. Meeting the world as it is while staying rooted in who we really are.
How can you find that equanimity, you ask? Some things to consider.
Five questions to check in with yourself:
What happens in my body when I scroll through the news or social media?
What am I hoping to feel when I check for updates?
Where am I confusing urgency with importance?
What do I actually have influence over right now?
What would responding instead of reacting look like?
Five simple practices to move toward your center of balance.
Pause before you send an email, respond to a post, or pick up the phone.
Name the state you’re in right now. This helps you respond with intention and care, rather than reacting on autopilot.
Lengthen the exhale for just one breath. This signals safety to your nervous system, helping your body settle and release stress.
Find a spot of tension in the body. Take a breath and let it soften a bit.
Choose one grounded action. Place your feet on the floor, notice the support beneath you, and let that physical steadiness guide your next response.
Here’s the thing. Equanimity isn’t stepping away from the world. It’s how we stay in it without losing ourselves.