Vulnerability Isn’t Weakness. It’s the Connection We’ve Been Missing.

In letting go of the masks we wear, we make space to love us as we are.

I was talking with a client recently, who, like me, is over 65, with decades of experience in tech and in life.

We both grew up in a time when you didn’t tell people how you really felt. You didn’t share your victories because it might seem like bragging. Humility was key. Pride was arrogance. Vulnerability was weakness and closeted.

But here we are, decades later, and we’ve learned that vulnerability isn’t weakness at all. It’s a strength. It’s the bridge that allows us to get to real human connection, the kind we’re all so hungry for. (Especially now.)

The Mask We Were Taught to Wear
Lots of us spent the first 40 years or so of our lives doing what we thought we were *supposed* to do; marry the right person, land the right job, get the right house, drive the right car. Thing is, those “right” things didn’t actually fill us up. We were missing something but couldn’t always identify what that was. So we tried harder.

When we finally realized that the mask of “having it all together,” was really a ruse to keep us needing, what came out wasn’t shame. It was relief.
Relief at being able to say, “this is not for me,” or “I don’t know the answer,” or even “I need help.”

That kind of self-honesty is how we open the door to real community. Not by polishing our image, but by being willing to show up as we are and be with others who do too.

Ageism is a thing
Yep, ageism is real. It’s not just about boomers either. Every generation has its own version, doesn’t it?

As for me, I’ve been on calls with organizations excited about working together on conflict management, workshops, coaching, or team-building.
Over the phone, it’s all good. Even on Zoom, they’re interested. But when we sit across the table, I can see it on their faces, there's this flicker of, “Oh, she’s older than she seemed” Or my personal fav, “Hello Boomer”.

Yes, it’s true, I’m a Boomer. It’s also true that I have some unusual approaches and experiences to share. Like many I know, I was navigating the early days of the internet when a lot of today’s hot tools were just a gleam in someone’s eye.

I learned the hard way that many online platforms that promised a “community” were, in reality, just marketing tools. That right there is what nudged me away from running a digital marketing agency and into coaching and consulting. This is work rooted in authenticity, vulnerability, and true human connection. Helping people see that and growing together fuels me in ways I never was by the shrink-wrapped commodified community we all dreamed up back in the day.

Vulnerability as a Skill
Vulnerability allows us to have honest conversations, create human communities that support each other, and friendships that feel real. It softens division, even when we disagree.‘Cuz it’s real.

I don’t buy into the idea that vulnerability or age makes me less valid. In fact, it’s exactly what gives me the wisdom and courage to do what I do.

To be open and ready to listen when someone needs compassion. To help them free up their true self and stand for their truth, even if it feels scary.

The next time someone asks if I know how to use the internet, I won’t let that be a trigger for me anymore.

I’ll smile to myself and think, “Yes. Do you? Can you see how we can use it for the good of humanity instead of falling into the old games?”.

I hope so, because there is such promise here in this fresh world. We can see it. Do you?