Urge Surfing: Riding the Energy Without Wiping Out

You have agency to decide how urgent a particular urge is, and see where following it might take you.

Sometimes it starts as a whisper. A little flutter in your belly. A tightening in your jaw. A twinge of agitation in your chest or shoulders. You might not notice it right away, but then, suddenly, there it is.

The urge. To lash out. To grab the snack. To scroll. To walk away. To say something sharp. To do something… anything, that releases that rising energy.

Urges don’t arrive subtly. They surge through the nervous system like a fast-moving wave. The brain reacts first, sending signals through the amygdala that something’s happening.

Your muscles tense, heart rate climbs, and the thinking part of your brain, the part responsible for reflection and choice, starts to dim under the pressure. In those moments, your body is primed for action, though maybe not wisdom.

And yet… that’s the very moment we *can* choose. This is where the practice of urge surfing comes in.

When you learn to recognize an urge as it’s building, you have an opportunity. In a split second, without panicking, you can create space to make smarter, kinder choices.

You have agency to decide how urgent a particular urge is, and see where following it might take you. Do you go with it, or take a breath and make a considered choice?

Visualize it like this. You’re out in the ocean, sitting quietly on a surfboard. The water is moving beneath you. There’s tension and stillness all at once. Then, just below you, you feel it. A powerful build of energy starts to rise. You know a wave is coming.

This is the moment you check in. Is this the wave I’m waiting for? Do I want to ride it? Or wait, maybe a better one is right behind it?

You pause. You sense. You choose. This moment of awareness makes all the difference.

You might still ride the wave, but now it’s a conscious choice, not just reactivity. Or you decide to let it pass, knowing another wave will come.

The idea of urge surfing isn’t about resisting every urge or pretending they don’t exist. It’s about noticing the physiological signals—the tightening, the shallow breath, the speeding mind—and seeing that rising energy as information.

With a little space between feeling and reacting, you return focus to the part of your brain that can respond wisely, not just impulsively.

There will always be another urge, and each one presents an opportunity to decide how I respond. Ride or pause?

So, I as you, when was the last time you felt an urge swelling up? Did you go with it? Did it carry you somewhere helpful, or did it crash hard?

I’d love to hear your stories. What are your go-to waves, those choices you wrestle with or attempt and then wipe out?

What do you notice in your body when the urge rises? What happens if you pause?

Drop into the comments and let’s talk about how we’re learning to ride these urge waves instead of getting caught up in them.