The Most Underrated Meditation Skill (That I Keep Forgetting to Use)

How dropping the struggle (and the timer) helped me actually get it.

If you’ve ever tried to force your way into a peaceful mind and ended up frustrated, then this one's for you.

When I first started meditating, I had… expectations.

I figured I’d sit down, breathe a little, and whoosh… inner peace. Enlightenment. Maybe even a faint glow.

Instead, I got a head full of random thoughts, mental replays of old conversations, grocery lists, judgment, and a heavy dose of “why can’t I do this right?”

I’d quit. Then come back. Then quit again.

And then, someone told me I needed to approach meditation with a “beginner’s mind.” Whatever that was.

Beginner’s mind is the idea that we show up as if for the first time. No performance. No pressure to “master” it. Just curiosity. Stop trying so freaking hard and just be curious and watch the mind, what’s actually happening without needing to fix, judge, or control it.

When I let go of the idea that I had to empty my mind I felt my first taste of what meditation could be. I still had thoughts, but I wasn’t chasing them. I wasn’t fighting them either. I let the birds sing. The trucks rumble past. The fly land on my eyelid. And I just… sat.

When I opened my eyes, everything looked fresher. Like my brain had been rinsed. I went for a walk around the block and noticed flowers I’d passed a hundred times without seeing.

Of course, I didn’t feel that again for months. I went right back to being full of expectations and trying to force my mind to be still. It was frustrating.

It’s a loop I still find myself in: struggle → remember beginner’s mind → let go → clarity → forget → repeat.

When I’m stressed, or life is chaotic, and I really need to just sit, but the noise in my head feels too loud, I go for a walk first. No phone, just me, moving through the world. Or I go to the garden and pull weeds or water the plants. It helps me prepare to just be. When I get back, I sit down without a timer. I just sit. Letting time fall away. Letting things be. I’m in a better place to sit and meditation comes more readily.

SO. That’s my messy meditation path—how about yours?
Do you find beginner’s mind helpful?
What helps you settle into your practice?
What completely throws you off?

Drop me a comment. I’d love to hear what’s real for you.

(Image credit- Contemplation. A pencil sketch by Rembrandt Peale)