Rethinking Polyvagal Theory?

Maybe it’s not wrong. Maybe we’re seeing it more clearly.

A client asked me recently if Polyvagal theory was suddenly all wrong, and that what had felt like settled understanding was now being questioned, and what I thought.

I told him I’ve been keeping an eye on the research coming out over the last few years. Reading, listening, noticing what’s changing and what still holds up in real life with the people I work with. Because that’s where it matters most.

Polyvagal theory, developed by Stephen Porges, was widely adopted by trauma therapists, coaches, and wellness practitioners for a reason. It gave us a way to understand something that had been hard to explain.

It helped people connect their emotional experience with what was happening in their body. For many clients, things started to make sense.

Instead of seeing themselves as overreactive or broken, they began to see their own patterns. They began to understand that their nervous system was doing its job, responding to life, trying to keep them safe. Seeing that shift in understanding can be huge.


Of course, research is ongoing, That’s how any field evolves, and Porges’s work is being considered more closely.
Questions about how some aspects of the theory were interpreted or applied. A sense that parts of it may have been taken more literally than the science supports.

There’s a discussion going on over here from the Polyvagal Institute if you’d like to dive in.

What hasn’t changed for me is what I’ve learned from the concepts in the theory and how I’ve used it as a framework. A way to help people begin to notice the connection between what they feel emotionally and what’s happening physically in their body.

That connection is still very real.

When someone learns to recognize responses like fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, something softens. There’s often a moment of relief when they realize, “Oh, this isn’t me failing. This is my body trying to protect me.”

Think of these responses in the body like a check engine light.
It’s not telling you something is wrong with you. It’s telling you something needs attention.
Once you can see it that way, you’re no longer just reacting. You’re in a position to respond.
From there, our work becomes more practical.

Clients start to notice the early signals in their body. A tightening in the chest, a shift in breathing, a sense of urgency or withdrawal. They begin to understand their own patterns before they escalate.

Awareness of these responses opens the door to regulation. Not control. Not shutting things down. But having the ability to shift, even slightly, in the moment. To pause. To choose a different response. To stay present a little longer.

Over time, we can build resilience, and that supports clearer, more grounded thinking. It strengthens executive function in ways that feel very tangible in everyday life.

And then there’s co-regulation. We don’t talk about this enough.
When I’m working with someone who is highly reactive, my focus isn’t on fixing their reaction. It’s on how I’m showing up with them.

If I can stay grounded, steady, and present, that has an effect. Because our nervous systems are constantly interacting.

So when my client asked about “the polyvagal story,” I didn’t dismiss it, and I didn’t defend it. I told him I’m continuing to learn.

I’m paying attention to the research. I’m interested in the critiques. I’m fascinated by how much more we’re discovering about the brain, the body, and the way they work together.

And I’m also paying attention to what actually helps people. Because at the end of the day, that’s the measure that matters to me.

The frameworks we use will continue to evolve, and at its core, it’s all about connecting in a real way, understanding how self-awareness can help us regulate and co-regulate.

Helping people understand themselves with more clarity. Helping them recognize what’s happening in their body. Helping them respond with more awareness and less judgment.

I’ve been fine-tuning my toolkit for years, and I’ll continue to use it as a way to support people in becoming more aware, steadier, and more connected to themselves and others.

There’s so much we’re still learning. If you’re exploring this too, I’d be interested to hear what you’re noticing.

What’s been helpful for you? Have you changed how you work with clients?