Finding Common Ground
We all want to be happy. It’s one of the most universal human desires. And yet....
Life has this pesky habit of throwing curveballs our way—financial stress, work conflicts, family conflicts, health issues, global chaos. It’s easy to get caught up in our own challenges, seeing the world through a lens that focuses on just our own issues. What if we could pause just long enough to realize that the people around us are carrying their own heavy loads, too?
When we’re stressed, it’s tempting to slip into reactivity. Somebody cuts you off in traffic, snaps at you at work, or sends a text that lands the wrong way. The knee-jerk reaction is to fire back, to defend your territory, to label that person as difficult or inconsiderate. (There are other words…). Could we see this differently?
What if, instead of snapping back, we paused for a moment and reminded ourselves that this person, no matter how grumpy or seemingly antagonistic, might be wrestling with their own demons? A loved one is sick, the rent is due, or they’re grappling with the same feeling of uncertainty that you are. Maybe they’re longing to be seen, heard, respected, and loved, just like you.
It’s a practice of emotional intelligence, really, to recognize our triggers before they lead us down the regret-strewn path of anger or resentment. It’s about seeing the human behind the behavior and choosing to respond with a lil curiosity instead of judgment. Can we see them as fellow travelers, doing the best they can, just like us?
When we drop our rigid labels and stop sticking others in boxes of “good” or “bad,” “friend” or “enemy,” we create room for understanding. We soften our hearts and allow compassion to grow. I’m not saying you should tolerate harmful behavior or ignore your own boundaries. It’s about having that cherished sense of agency. knowing that you can choose to respond with the same kindness and care you hope to receive. It’s about remembering that suffering is a shared human experience.
So, the next time someone rubs you the wrong way or tests your patience, try offering a silent wish for their well-being:
“May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you live with ease.”
You might be surprised at how this small shift can change your day—and maybe even theirs.