Beware the Energy Vampire
When Kindness Isn't Enough? Mindful Boundaries
You know that feeling. You hang up the phone or walk away from a conversation, and you’re not just tired—you’re gutted. Like something’s been pulled from you, and you're left wondering what just happened.
That’s not you being too sensitive. That might be you being siphoned.
It’s Not About Avoiding People
Sure, some may say you gotta cut these people out entirely. But that’s not always practical or compassionate. Sometimes they’re coworkers, family members, or people we genuinely care about. Often we want to help. That’s part of the trap. See it?
Energy vampires have radar for the soft-hearted, the wise listeners, the ones who still believe in people.
They may not mean harm, but they’ve learned that when they’re the loudest sufferer in the room, someone will hold their hand. If that someone is you—again and again—you may notice a familiar pattern: You give, they take, and you’re left empty.
Psychologist and author Dr. Judith Orloff, who writes extensively about empaths and energy, reminds us that “empaths must learn how to avoid taking on the stress of others, which can manifest as chronic fatigue, anxiety, or feeling overwhelmed.”
Mindful, Compassionate Boundaries
You don’t need to armor up, build walls, or abandon your values. You can be kind and clear. Start by recognizing your own energy levels and limits. Before responding to a text, returning a call, or agreeing to another “just need five minutes,” ask yourself: Do I have the energy to give right now?
If the answer is no, that’s not cold. That’s wisdom.
The American Psychological Association encourages practicing setting boundaries as an essential form of emotional self-care, especially for highly sensitive people. Boundaries actually strengthen relationships over time by promoting clarity and reducing resentment.
So, instead of retreating or reacting:
Pause. Notice your body and breath when you’re around someone who drains you. What are the signals?
Respond, don’t absorb. Visualize a buffer—like a gentle field around you where their energy can’t stick.
Name your limits. Say, “I want to support you, but I can’t keep talking about this today.” Or, “Let’s focus on something lighter right now—I need that.”
Make time to recharge. Creativity, time in nature, meditation, movement—all these reset your nervous system. Forest bathing, in particular, is proven to reduce stress and restore balance. Walk slowly. Let the trees hold space for you.
Maybe, just maybe, you’ll find that the energy vampire is a human, caught in their own suffering. They may not know how to get through without unloading. They may not have the tools to manage.
They might need compassion. That doesn’t mean you have to take on their pain in order to offer it. You can wish them well and do what you can without losing your sense of self.
The world needs your tenderness. But it doesn’t need you exhausted and drained. Protect your energy. Let your boundaries be a loving act of kindness, for them and for yourself.