At Home With Yourself: Letting Go of Control
Recognizing what’s yours to hold and what’s not.
Control feels comforting because it’s familiar. We can get trapped in the rhythm of managing everything. It gives us a sense of steadiness even as it can drain us. Our nervous system loves the familiar, including when it isn’t actually helpful. So we cling to habits that feel safe, even though they only give the appearance of safety. Familiar isn’t the same as secure. It just feels easier because we’ve practiced it.
Our bodies know the difference before our minds do. Tight shoulders. A stiff back, a crick in the neck.The sense that we’re carrying more than we should. It’s a physical signal that something we’re holding doesn’t belong to us.
Picture trying to hold water in your hands. At first, you feel capable. Responsible. But the water slides away no matter how tightly you grip it. Your hands tense. Your breath shortens. You try harder even though the task was impossible from the start. Many of the responsibilities we cling to work the same way.
There comes a moment in life when you realize you don’t need to prove your worth by carrying what was never yours.
You don’t need to keep the peace through over-managing.
You don’t need to be the steady one all the time.
When you let something fall away, your body responds with relief. Your breath softens. Your chest loosens. Your nervous system recognizes real safety, the kind that comes from choosing what’s actually yours to hold.
Letting go isn’t a weakness. It’s trust in motion.
5 Questions to Ask Yourself
1. What am I carrying today that no one actually asked me to hold?
2. If I set one responsibility down, what fear shows up? And is that fear even true?
3. What part of my body tightens when I feel pressure to manage everything myself?
4. Whose expectations am I trying to meet right now? My own or someone else’s?
5. If I trusted life just a little more, what could I let go of? How would that feel?
5 Micro Practices
Shoulder Check: Roll your shoulders once and notice what you’re clenching. Let them drop a bit.
Ask Yourself: When stress shows up, ask yourself, “Is this mine?” If not, set it aside in your mind.
One Less Thing: Pick one thing you’ll stop managing today and let it unfold without your supervision.
Cupped Hands: Cup your hands like you’re holding water. Notice how hard it is to keep anything in. Then open your hands.
Lean Back: Sit back and feel your spine support you. Notice how your mind follows your body into ease.