Another Stupid Team Building Day?
What Happens When People Feel Heard
Before the workshop even started, I heard the grumbling. A few folks mumbled something about “another stupid offsite” and how it was interrupting their regular rhythm. Fair enough. I’ve been to more than a few of those in my corporate days. I dreaded them too. But this one ended a little differently.
The group included a mix of in-person and remote employees. Some knew each other well. Others, especially those working from home, said they often felt “different” and a bit invisible. One woman managed a team whose type of work meant they tended to stay siloed from the rest of the company. She didn’t say much early on. She sat back, arms crossed, clearly trying to be invisible.
To shake things up, I asked everyone to count off by numbers so they’d pair up with someone they didn’t normally work with. The goal was simple: connect as people. Not about roles or tasks. Just human to human. Preferably with someone from a different group.
We started with a few simple mindfulness exercises to get them settled in together, breaking the ice. Then we moved into dyads. One person spoke for two minutes. The other listened. No fixing, no jumping in. Just being present with what was said. Then they switched roles.
We did this a few times, each time with different groupings, and the energy began to shift. In the group conversation afterwards. I asked how that went and if anything felt different.
The quiet one raised her hand and said, “This is the first time I’ve felt like someone actually heard me, like really listened. And the listening part felt so good too. We need to do more of this!
Something shifted. Hands were raised to share their own experiences, and handshakes and some hugs too. They weren’t thinking of roles and the stereotypes that might have been there before. Opening up to seeing the real lives and needs of the others in the room changed the whole experience.
That moment right there? That is why I do this work. When we strip away the hierarchy, the endless task lists, the awkward status updates, we remember that teams are made of humans being. And we all want the same basic things. To feel safe, respected, understood, and included.
Belonging isn’t fluff. It’s a foundation.
Research from Gallup shows that when employees feel their opinions count, companies see a 27% drop in turnover and a 12% boost in productivity. Belonging doesn’t just feel good. It works. It creates a culture of psychological safety and reduces fear of speaking up.
We closed the day with a gratitude circle. Everyone wrote a short note of appreciation to someone else in the group, tossed it into a bucket, and then we passed it around. Each person pulled a note and read it aloud to the person it was written for. There were a few teary smiles. It wasn’t corny—it was real. A genuine moment of recognition, which so many of us just don’t get enough of.
After the off-site.
I heard from quite a few folks. A handful of cross-team projects kicked off initiatives that weren’t even on the radar before. Teams that had barely interacted before the event were now collaborating. One remote team member said they finally felt “looped in” and were invited to contribute to something that was their sweet spot, but they hadn’t known about. All it took was some intentional time together, with just enough structure to help people really connect.
Want more trust and belonging on your team at your next offsite?
Pair people across silos. Don’t just group folks who already work together. Mix it up. New connections spark fresh energy.
Use mindful listening. Set aside time for people to talk about what matters to them while others simply listen. Two minutes is enough.
Support remote workers intentionally. Ask them what they need to feel more visible and follow through.
Create space for appreciation. You don’t need a whole circle. Start meetings by naming something you’re grateful for about a teammate.
Let people be people. Start meetings with a check-in question that’s not about work. Ask what made them laugh this week, or what kind of day they’re having.
The bottom line
Teams thrive when people feel like they matter. You don’t need a perfect agenda or a fancy venue to make that happen. You just need space. A little courage, patience, and a willingness to show up and listen.
When people connect beyond their roles and see each other as full human beings, belonging grows. And when belonging grows, so does trust, collaboration, and yes, better work.
That’s what happened at our not-so-stupid offsite.