A Thanksgiving Kind of Love
Every person at your table has a whole world inside them. Let that guide how you show up.
Holiday celebrations can feel like a mixed bag. One part mashed potatoes, one part chaos, a few people we adore, a few we don’t quite understand, and at least one dish someone insists on making every year, even though it tastes like regret. Looking at you, green bean casserole. Jeanne means well, and she beams when she brings it to the table, so we smile and try not to overthink it.
For many of us, the day is spread out across blended families, friends, neighbors, and the folks who show up even when they were not on the original guest list. Some of us celebrate on Thanksgiving itself. Others do Friendsgiving the day before or a cozy feast the day after. The calendar matters less than the spirit. The real invitation is to gather with the people who share our lives in big and tiny ways and remember what we appreciate in each other.
This is a moment to pause and remember that everyone at the table is doing the best they can with the life they have lived. Even grumpy Uncle Jimmy. Even Aunt Esther whose comments stop the room cold for a second while we try to figure out what to say next. These pauses are chances to breathe and come back to our center. To remember that we all want the same thing.
We want to feel happy and safe. We want to belong.
When we see this clearly, we can soften. We can meet each person as they are and not as we wish they would be. It does not mean we ignore our boundaries or pretend things are fine when they are not. It simply means we choose presence over reaction.
This holiday is a chance to honor our interbeing. We share this life. We shape each other. We forget that sometimes. Thanksgiving lets us remember.
Five Things to Think About
1. Everyone at the table carries a whole unseen world.
Stories, hopes, fears, good intentions. Most of it we will never know. Let this soften the sharp edges of judgment.
2. Old habits show up quickly during holidays.
Notice the places where you tighten, brace or jump into old roles. This awareness is a form of freedom.
3. Connection does not need to be perfect to be real.
A shared laugh counts. A quiet moment counts. Even a respectful silence counts.
4. Gratitude is more than listing blessings.
It is the act of noticing how much you rely on others and how much they rely on you. It is a shared practice.
5. Love often hides in the small moments.
A hand on your shoulder. A friend helping clean up. Someone saving your favorite piece of pie. These count more than the big speeches.
Five Small Practices for the Week
1. The Three Second Softening
Before you speak or respond, let your shoulders drop for three seconds. Feel your feet. Then speak from a steadier place.
2. Notice One Good Thing About Each Person
It can be tiny. Their humor. Their honesty. Their effort. Let yourself appreciate that.
3. Leave One Conversation Gently
If things get tense, excuse yourself for a short walk or step into the kitchen to refill your water. No drama needed. Just care for your nervous system.
4. Find a Quiet Moment to Send Loving Kindness
Pick one person you struggle with. Offer a simple thought. May you feel happy. May you feel safe. May you know kindness today.
5. Protect One Joy For Yourself
A morning cup of tea. A walk after dinner. Listening to music while you prep the stuffing. Something that keeps you steady and connected to yourself.
Thanksgiving is not about perfection. It is about remembering we belong to each other.
It is a chance to practice kindness in the wild with real humans who sometimes make us laugh, sometimes make us cringe, and always teach us something.
So go into this week with a warm heart and a sense of humor. Let the casserole be what it is. Let the people be who they are. Let yourself stay steady in the middle of it all.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and to every being who shares this life with us.